Monday Reading: Esther 1 10-22

Key Verse: Esther 1 12
12  But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.

Devotion:
When we see or hear about some of the latest advertisements or soaps on TV we may be forgiven for thinking that this sort of thing is quite normal – and the way the world is going it may well be promoted as being normal; but Queen Vashti was caught between a rock and a hard place. If she had agreed to come before the king and parade herself then what would become of her when he sobered up? If she refused then what would happen to her before he sobered up?

Sadly we see far too much of this sort of scenario being played out in everyday life between couples and even with friends. People give way to temptations of one kind or another which leads to inappropriate behaviour which leads to someone being caught between the rock and the hard place. When we lose control in our lives, someone will have to pay for it. It may not be us that we seem to hurt at first, but you can bet that we are the ones who will have to put up with things for a long time to come.

Placing a partner into a corner where they cannot see a way out is nothing more than bullying or abuse. Whether you are the man or the woman we have not been taught to control the other half through abuse but rather to nurture them and love them. If you are worried that you will lose control of the situation if you go out and have a drink, then why go out and have that drink in the first place? If you know that you have weaknesses, surely the thing to do is to avoid them instead of going back to see if you are still weak! There are many things in our lives that are selfish and drinking too much is just one of those that nobody seems to see until they have broken everything in sight.

Our place in a relationship is to live with your partner as if they meant everything to you. God wants us to be secure and sure in any relationship and that includes our relationship with Him. We enter into that relationship when we invite Him into our lives. If we then go off and play the fool, who do you think is going to get hurt? First off you are playing the fool directly in His sight. Next you have damaged that relationship through your own actions and that means spending time fixing things and getting it all back together again – so instead of spending all your life trying to sort out the problems and seeking advice from all fronts, try starting off in the right direction to begin with – walk with God!

Points to Ponder:
Do you break things more than fix them?

Are you walking with God or running from Him?

Sunday Reading: Ephesians 5 22-33

Key Verse: Ephesians 5 25
25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Devotion:
If you were to ask people what they thought the problems was in most marriages today a common answer may well be that either partner did not respect the other or that they simply did not love the partner anymore. But few people may be willing to dig a bit deeper and try to analyse why those statements were said or to try and figure out what did or did not happen in the first place. Whilst most people would be willing to bring in someone who would be able to sort the problems out, few would give someone else control in their lives and be willing to follow that third party’s advice on a way forward. Is it any wonder then that marriages do break down, that relationships do get consumed and that people end up being unhappy?

When we read verses like these it is very easy to catch hold of phrases like “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands” and “For the husband is the head of the wife” and to get carried away about men being in charge of what happens no matter what. Well, God has given us what should and should not happen, but we just don’t want to listen! Instead what we tend to do is to pick up on some of the phrases and bend things to our own advantage. Well, have a careful read of what is being said...

God is saying that we need to get things in the right order. Christ showed us that He is the head of the church and that He is the Saviour of that church. In other words He is the one who has to look out for that church, not just to say He is in charge but to actually be the one who does what is right. Therein lays a problem for many men in our society because they have never learned what is involved in a good marriage.

Christ showed that He was not just willing to be the one who took a step forward saying that He was in charge but He also did exactly that. He did not do it through being a bully like many of the kings of Israel but rather gave Himself up to be a servant for all the church. He was willing to be in charge by example and not just to demand His share of what should be given. I know I am a fine one to talk, but with a bit of hind sight and looking in from the outside the world looks quite different. Jesus knew that He was the head of the church and He knew that that demanded that all should respect Him for that; but He still showed love and respect to everyone else by supplying us with all that we need with security, love, respect and everything in between. So if you want to be the head, you need the right attitude to start with...

Points to Ponder:
Do you look for quick results?

Or do you look to God for guidance?

Saturday Reading: Genesis 12 10-20

Key Verse: Genesis 12 13
13  Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.

Devotion:
I don’t know about you, but having hindsight always makes me think “why couldn’t they see it!” But that is one of the reasons why God has given us His Word with so many examples of how to do things and how not to – so that we can learn and not have to go there ourselves. But just as Adam and Eve were first tempted by the serpent, we too will continue blindly down certain alleys in our lives without thinking of where we are going or the consequences of going there!

To me, this passage shows me how men think – it may not be clear to you ladies just how Abraham was justifying this in his own mind, but he had clearly thought it through. It was not the right thing to do because we can see that it nearly ended the wrong way, but Abraham had convinced himself that it was right. That is one of our downfalls, and not just men because ladies go there too – convincing ourselves that something is right just because we cannot see a way round the problem. I know men are more prone to do this openly, especially when trying to fix something or to navigate somewhere – we say we know it all until we fall flat on our faces!

Being able to have someone close to talk to has tremendous advantages and is something that we should all strive to do more often. Being able to sit down and just talk things through with someone else of the opposite sex will help us to know how we think and help us to live a better life with others. God did not create us to stand at opposite ends of the room and just look at each other – though that is what many of us probably did the first dance or disco we went to. God has made us to be different so that we can live with each other and love each other and that should be our aim.

When Christ reminded us that love is at the centre of our lives with God He did not just say that for us to love God but to learn to love each other with a love that goes beyond looking at someone the opposite side of the room. We can see, in Abrahams strange way, that Abraham loved Sarah and wanted both of them to be safe so that they could continue to live together… even if that meant living apart a bit… Yes, a strange way of looking at it, but one that Abraham had apparently thought out. We need to go beyond our own shortcomings and look to God for guidance and for strength. He can give us the love we need to succeed in our relationship with the people that we love; so long as we keep Him in the centre and focus on His will and not dilute it for our convenience.

Points to Ponder:
Do you struggle with your lot?

Are you embracing God’s ways?

Friday Reading: Exodus 20 1-17

Key Verse: Exodus 20 17
17  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Devotion:
Have you ever wondered why the previous four commandments are short and this last one gets a bit of an extended explanation? Now I know that we should not be lining up the commandments and saying that we should be keeping these ones and those ones can be bent a little because God gave us all of the commandments and all of the law as a complete entity. It was man who imposed restrictions and differentiations on the laws. It was man who said that these are important and maybe not those. It was man who asked Christ which of the commandments was the most important! But… when we are given a fuller explanation for something it is normally so that we take a bit more notice of it. This is not to say that this is more important, but it is important that we think about it and what is being said.

Do not steal. That is pretty straight forward; but the more we think about it the more we find out how much of our lives is based around the concept that it is ok to take some things even though God says “do not steal!”

This is another part of us that is so very different. I will not pretend to be able to say how ladies think on this subject but I know from experience that it is very different to how men think. Is it any wonder then that there are huge differences in countries where men are in charge and where women are in charge? I am not saying one is better than the other because we need both in order for there to be stability – something too many governments push aside. Men will always think that there is room for “manoeuvring” because they are thinking of only one aspect of what lies ahead. Ladies will continue to be able to think of so many more aspects of what lies ahead than we do and so they try to weight things up a bit more. Now before I dig myself a rather large hole, I am going to leave off on this and just get you to think about the fact that we are different.

Coveting is a sin. We fall into that sin many times in our lives. We see others and we get envious of what they have or are able to do. What God wants us to be able to do though, is to take a step back and say “ok, I can accept that things are different”. God wants us to embrace the difference and use it to enhance our lives and not to break things down. God has given us these incredible bodies and brains so that we can live for Him and with Him – but also with each other.

Points to Ponder:
Do you get jealous?

Have you tried asking God to help you embrace the differences in our lives?